This past week, I left my house for the first time since coming home from the hospital. I went to a friend's house just 3 minutes from home. A group of friends got together to talk, laugh and eat. It was nice to take a little break from my usual surroundings. This group of friends gave me an amazing gift that night.....it was a beautiful painting of pink flowers (my favourite). It was created by a local artist who I have grown to love and admire. At the top of the painting were the words "Melanie You Are..." then each friend at this get together gave a word or phrase to describe me. It is beautiful on so many levels....it's beautiful to look at, it's beautiful to read and warms my heart, and it's beautiful for my soul to know I have friends that care so deeply for me. Darryl hung the painting next to my hospital bed, so it's the first thing I see when I wake up. When the pain won't ease, when the drugs are clouding my mind, or when I'm too tired to get out of bed this painting has become a reminder of hope for me. Thank you to those who contributed. I feel very lucky to have friends who are willing to share their feelings about me. We so seldom offer these insights to each other, even though it's so encouraging. My challenge to you today is to tell someone who you love what they mean to you and why you value them.....it has the power to change them and you.
Saturday 25 July 2015
A Painting of Hope
Life has been busy over the past few weeks. We had some special friends come and visit from Toronto. It was so great to get caught up and enjoy each other's company. We've also been celebrating birthdays. Our youngest daughter and Darryl's birthdays are just 2 days apart (July 18 & 20), so we celebrated them last weekend. My family and Darryl's family came over to help us celebrate. It was nice to have family around. I floated in and out of the celebrations. I struggled with a lot of hip pain all weekend, so amongst the celebrating was lots of drugs and sleep to help cope.
This past week, I left my house for the first time since coming home from the hospital. I went to a friend's house just 3 minutes from home. A group of friends got together to talk, laugh and eat. It was nice to take a little break from my usual surroundings. This group of friends gave me an amazing gift that night.....it was a beautiful painting of pink flowers (my favourite). It was created by a local artist who I have grown to love and admire. At the top of the painting were the words "Melanie You Are..." then each friend at this get together gave a word or phrase to describe me. It is beautiful on so many levels....it's beautiful to look at, it's beautiful to read and warms my heart, and it's beautiful for my soul to know I have friends that care so deeply for me. Darryl hung the painting next to my hospital bed, so it's the first thing I see when I wake up. When the pain won't ease, when the drugs are clouding my mind, or when I'm too tired to get out of bed this painting has become a reminder of hope for me. Thank you to those who contributed. I feel very lucky to have friends who are willing to share their feelings about me. We so seldom offer these insights to each other, even though it's so encouraging. My challenge to you today is to tell someone who you love what they mean to you and why you value them.....it has the power to change them and you.
This past week, I left my house for the first time since coming home from the hospital. I went to a friend's house just 3 minutes from home. A group of friends got together to talk, laugh and eat. It was nice to take a little break from my usual surroundings. This group of friends gave me an amazing gift that night.....it was a beautiful painting of pink flowers (my favourite). It was created by a local artist who I have grown to love and admire. At the top of the painting were the words "Melanie You Are..." then each friend at this get together gave a word or phrase to describe me. It is beautiful on so many levels....it's beautiful to look at, it's beautiful to read and warms my heart, and it's beautiful for my soul to know I have friends that care so deeply for me. Darryl hung the painting next to my hospital bed, so it's the first thing I see when I wake up. When the pain won't ease, when the drugs are clouding my mind, or when I'm too tired to get out of bed this painting has become a reminder of hope for me. Thank you to those who contributed. I feel very lucky to have friends who are willing to share their feelings about me. We so seldom offer these insights to each other, even though it's so encouraging. My challenge to you today is to tell someone who you love what they mean to you and why you value them.....it has the power to change them and you.
Wednesday 8 July 2015
Living in a Daze
The last few weeks have been surreal to me on so many levels. I've been put on some very heavy medications to control the pain in my back and legs. As a result, I feel like I walk around in a daze all the time. Somedays it's unclear what I'm dreaming and what is real. This is a frustrating place to be. I want to invest in the people around me, but it's hard to engage when I feel so out of it. My home has been transformed into a health care facility, which has all happened so quickly it feels like I'm on the outside watching someone else's life being transformed. I sleep in a hospital bed now, which is much more comfortable for my back. But it's hard for Darryl and I to accept the fact that we need to sleep in our own beds. We've pushed my bed right next to his, so it feels like one huge king bed, but deep down I miss my bed and sleeping next to my man. Today a wheelchair was delivered to the house, so I can consider taking the odd outing if I have the energy for it. I use a walker to get around the house and am managing quite well. I've managed to keep up a fairly good appetite thanks to the meal train! I sleep a lot and often have trouble staying a wake when I'm watching TV or reading. I feel like I'm in a constant battle to stay present and keep my head in what's going on around me. I have a new medical team looking after me. My doctors and nurses come to the house to look after me, which is so helpful. I have appreciated them so much already. They are currently helping me figure out how to continue to manage my pain but possibly clear my head a bit. I'm in the process of switching from one pain medication to another, so I'm double drugged right now. I am extremely thankful for pain control which makes everything more doable. I catch myself watching Darryl and the girls and analyzing them......are they ready to live without me? Of course the answer is "no", but it's also hard for them to have to watch me suffer. It's a constant battle between wishing we weren't living this life and wanting to make the best of it. We struggle with how to pray.....of course we want a miracle - to be completely healed and healthy. But if God continues to say "no" to complete healing then what do we ask for? Strength to get through this life? Stamina to work through this hard valley? I dream about heaven....a perfect life, a perfect body, in Jesus' presence. Heaven will be great, but I will wait for when my time is right. For now we will press forward relying on Him with every step we take.
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