The Message from Melanie's Service

        This is the message, spoken by Melanie's Pastor, Terry Janke, at Melanie's Celebration of Life Service on August 28th, 2015.  Melanie and her family had a unique bond with each of the pastors at their church.  Her family would like to thank Pastors Terry, Kevin, and Doug for being an amazing source of support and encouragement. 

           Darryl, Kira and Teagan - I am sure you know this, but let me say it anyway, that we who fill this room today knew and loved Melanie; and we are here not only to grieve her loss with you and to celebrate her life, but we are here to support you - and going forward may you feel that support in many forms.

            Not many people are told, "This cancer is going to take your life. You don't have long to live. Go home and build a legacy." That is what Melanie was told over a year ago. And we know a bit of what her life looked like after that point because she felt called to not live it in secrecy, but more publicly for the sake of others. She and Daryl decided together one step at a time what this season of life would look like. So, between appointments and treatments, Mel spent her last year blogging, speaking to groups, visiting friends, and sharing openly with even strangers about her journey.

            On June 1st of this year I sat with Mel in her living room and after talking and praying, she shared how much she wrestled with trying to live and speak for Christ, especially to friends who did not know Him the way she knew Him. She longed to show Christ to others and she carried many of you on her heart and in her prayers. She told me that afternoon, that when I spoke at her funeral one day, to make sure I explained the way of knowing Christ and His forgiveness. She had worried that maybe she had not been clear enough sometimes.

            So, as I begin I want to say that though you are here as a last gift to Melanie - she has asked me to pass on her last gift to you, and I pray that I will be a worthy messenger to share the story of Christ this evening. To do so, I want to share from a letter the Apostle Paul wrote. (Read Phil 3:7 - 11)

            You can tell by how Paul writes that he is thinking he might be nearing the end of his life. He wrote this letter from Rome, where he had been placed under house arrest and was chained to a Roman guard on four hour shifts. And as he reflects on his life, he begins to take stock of his gains and losses. This is not a foreign concept to us, especially in these days when the stock market is so volatile and what was gained yesterday might have been lost today. The consumer-oriented society we live in leads us all to measure life in terms of monetary or material gains and losses.

            Most of us are never forced to measure life by any other standard until we are older or become sick; but Melanie was forced at the age of 36 to take stock of her gains and losses, and initially it was natural for her to think more about her losses than her gains.

            She shared on this theme about a year ago on a Sunday morning (Sept. 28/14) when we were going through the book of Philippians. The losses she listed were the obvious ones - being apart from Daryl, Kira and Teagan, her family and friends, but she also mentioned her loss of health, peace of mind, financial security, career, her health and fitness, and so on.

            When Paul received his life sentence in Rome he also had the uncertainty of when or how he would die as well, and in the verses just prior to what I read, he lists some of what he had to lose. He makes a list of his net worth, some which was inherited and some acquired. Under his inherited worth he counted things like being a Hebrew of Hebrews of the tribe of Benjamin, raised in an orthodox family and taught at the feet of the esteemed Rabbi Gamaliel. Paul had a pedigree to boast about.

            But he also could boast (humanly speaking) of his acquired or attained worth; achievements such as belonging to the elite group called the Pharisees, and in terms of being a legalistic do-gooder, no one could top Paul. He fasted more, prayed more, gave more, studied more, and did more than any others he knew. When you put the list together it added up to a lot of pride. In Paul's world it meant that if anyone could have been a candidate for heaven - Paul would have been that guy!

            But then he meets Christ. His conversion story is found in Acts 9, and when he does the math and re-calculates his gains and losses he comes to a bizarre and very surprising conclusion. He takes all his inherent and attained achievements, his pedigree and accomplishments ------ and he writes in vs. 7 - 9, 'WHATEVER was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus, my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ, and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ - the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.'

            Paul does a spiritual inventory; weighing out his gains and his losses, and he determines that everything he depended on beforehand was small compared to knowing Christ. Christ was worth more than all he had inherited or attained put together. Whatever was to my profit I now consider loss.

            Now, Melanie did not think of her family, her education or career as some kind of merit before God. She did not think that some of her circumstances in life or something she attained would pre-dispose God to looking more favourably upon her. But in a way similar to Paul, Melanie had to take an inventory of her hearts affections and see if she treasured anything greater than Christ. Her faith was put to that kind of test. And when she did this inventory, as hard as it was to face the losses that she anticipated, she came to the conclusion that Christ was better by far than all of them put together.

            Mel also had to look within her own soul and see that she needed the kind of Saviour that only Christ could be. Someone on the outside could have looked look at her life and thought - 'Well, if God doesn't let someone like a Melanie Penner into heaven, then there is no hope for a lot of us!' But she knew who she was from the inside - out. She knew that all of her goodness still fell short of the holiness that God requires for heaven. She realized that nothing on her list of inherited or attained gains in this world made her fit for the next world. She understood that all of her good deeds would be worthless currency when she arrived at heaven's gate. Nothing she did in this world could earn her place in heaven or her favour with God... only Christ could do that for her.

            The reason that Mel could count all of her earthly gains as losses compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ was because her spiritual eyes had been opened to see that all of her own self-effort was nothing compared to the glory and purity of Jesus who took her sin upon Himself on the cross and rose to new life to give her eternal life after death.

            There is a very important spiritual principle that Paul teaches in the Scripture we read, and to live by it will cost you your pride. The principle Paul teaches is all efforts at self-righteousness or being good can actually serve to hinder you in the end, if you are depending on them instead of Christ.

            Imagine for a moment someone has a cheqing account and all month long they make deposits into their account. But at the end of the month when their bank statement arrives, instead of being deposits, they actually appear as withdrawals and debits. Instead of being a profit, they are a loss. The efforts made to save money were actually counter-productive.

            This is the essence of what Paul is teaching. He lived his whole life as the most religious, devout, do-good person one could imagine, thinking that he was storing up righteousness with God. But instead of all his accomplishments and good deeds counting in his heavenly account, they actually served as debits. Paul was under the delusion, like so many, that at the end of life when he did his spiritual accounting, adding up his losses and gains, he would come out far ahead. But after meeting Christ, he realized that he had not gained anything; but in fact, all of his efforts were counter-productive because they deceived him into thinking that he could be justified before God by himself!       The word that the Bible writers use to describe how any of us are ever fit for heaven is the word "grace". It means unmerited favour. It means nothing you do can earn it. It means that only the humble receive it, and that exalts the One who alone can give it. Jesus is the only One who can give you grace that helps you in heaven, because Jesus left heaven, came to earth, lived a sinless life, died in your place, and rose again to defeat death, the last enemy.

            And as you listen to this simple message, you either respond at your core by thinking that you are not that bad, that you're good enough; or you respond knowing that you need your soul washed clean from evil and sin. Paul took all the good he could do and he said - I consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ, and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ - the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.'

            I heard a story recently about a missionary in Cameroon who had asked directions on how to get to a certain town in a jungle area. After travelling for some time, the road became a trail, and then the trail became a path and soon the path was not even discernible in the dense jungle. Thankfully he ran into an old gentleman in the jungle and asked him if he knew where the path was to this certain town. The old man nodded and said 'Follow me'. So he followed the old man, and they hacked their way through dense undergrowth and after about an hour he said to him, 'Are you sure you know the way? Where is the path?' And the old man turned to him said, "Out here, I am the path."

            Friends, when you step out of this physical, material and monetary existence and find yourself lost, you can do many things. You can try harder to find your way. You can search out what other religious road maps tell you - OR, you can follow Jesus who has been to death and back again to tell of it. He made His message in the Bible very simple. He said, "I am the way, the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father except through me." Jesus suffered all that we should have suffered; and He obeyed all that we should have obeyed - and so to know Him means simply to humble yourself, admit your need and run into the arms of the One who has loved you from the beginning with a perfect love.

            Right now, Melanie is enjoying the fullness of this love in the very presence of her heavenly Father. She has gained by the grace of God what she could never earn - because for her to live was Christ, and to die was gain. John Piper wrote - "If you want to make Christ look great in your dying, there is no big performance or achievement or heroic sacrifice. There is simply a child-like laying yourself into the arms of the one who makes the loss of everything gain."           

            Melanie - you have fought the good fight. You have finished the race. You have kept the faith. And now there is in store for you the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge will award to you... (2 Timothy 4:7 - 8)

            I have asked permission from Daryl and the family to let Mel have the last word in this message like she did last September, so would you pause with me, stay seated, and listen to words of one who wrestled through what it means to lose everything and to gain Christ.   Amen.

Melanie's Favourite Songs

Melanie's Favourite Songs

These are Melanie's favourite songs. They were very meaningful to her in the past year. 

She chose them to be a part of her Celebration of Life Service, August 28th, 2015.

Kari Jobe - I Am Not Alone

Laura Story - Blessings

Chris Tomlin - Sovereign

Steven Curtis Chapman - Glorious Unfolding

Family's Tribute to Melanie

Family's Tribute to Melanie as Prepared and Read by Jeffrey Klassen (Melanie's Brother) at Melanie's Celebration of Life, August 28th, 2015

I would like to share a pivotal moment in my life.  It was early September, 1987. It was my first year attending Roseisle Elementary, and Melanie’s last.  As I walked into Mrs. Mckittiac’s classroom for the first time, I remember turning and peering across the hall into Mr. Switzer’s room.  There, sitting in a far desk, backlit by the morning light, I saw my sister.  We had just gotten off the bus together, but somehow, she looked completely different.  Her blond perm pulled back, gently falling over the collar of her acid wash jean jacket, she sat in a halo of light.  I’m positive the whole class was looking at her.  She had a loud and carefree laugh that was impossible to resist, and her trademark smile never left her face.  She was beautiful and popular and funny.  I was dumbstruck with admiration, but this faded … into existential panic.  So, my sister is incredible…what does that mean for me?  Is this what the world would expect from me for the rest of my childhood?  Daunting questions for a 6 year old.  I DID NOT have half of my sister’s graces.  It soon became clear, that if I ever wanted to stand out in this family I would always have to be just a little weird.

It was about 30 seconds after agreeing to write a tribute for today that I started to worry.  Number 1, I wasn’t sure I could do it without turning into a puddle.  Number 2, how could I possibly write anything shorter than a novel that could do Melanie justice!  After helping Darryl start the eulogy (which Trisha and Darryl’s sisters completed), I was able to relax a little.  I didn’t have to focus on ALL of Melanie’s greatness.  My job is a family tribute, so I’ve tried to prepare a glimpse of how Melanie fit into our small town brood.

Dad

Melanie was the apple of my father’s eye.  Within our family, Melanie and my dad had a special connection.  They shared traits that made them…different.  You see, I’m much more like my mom.  My mom and I don’t mind sitting back and observing.  We are peaceful, and to some extent, are happy to let life happen around us.  But not my Dad, and not my sister.  Both Melanie and my dad could not sit still.  For Mel, life was there to be seized!  Sitting still meant possibly missing an ounce of joy that could be squeezed from a moment, and she would never miss an opportunity to laugh, smile, or be thrilled by the wonder of the world around her.  That’s exactly like my dad.  I know he will miss that connection.  I know Melanie’s death is all the more painful for my dad, because just like Melanie, he may be stoic, but he is filled to the brim with emotion.  And while his words may be fewer than Melanie’s, his love is just as big.

Mom

To my mom, Melanie was simply a best friend.  Melanie and my mom would spend an unnatural amount of time on the phone together.  Mom knew everything about Mel and Mel knew everything about my mom.  Given Melanie’s list of amazing friends, my mom stands in some pretty steep competition for “best friend”.  But Melanie didn’t keep it a secret.  She told me over and over, “Mom is definitely my best friend.”  Mom gave my sister comfort, right to the end.  For my mom, Melanie was inspiration.  When I listened to my mom talk about my sister’s faith and perseverance, there was immeasurable pride and respect.  My mom and my sister’s bond has been passed on to Melanie and Darryl’s girls, and it is special to watch them interact with each other.  Her relationship with Kira and Teagan some how feels both new and familiar.

Trisha and Otto

For my wife, Melanie was a comrade.  They had so much in common.  Both early years teachers.  Both would talk your ear off if you let them.  Both craved deep, personal connection, and were more than willing to bare their soul.  Melanie and Trisha could turn a task like drying the dishes into a two hour discussion.  Melanie was always accepting of my wife, and for that I was very thankful.  She had a special place in my son’s heart, as well.  Even near the end, my son could not be at the hospital without going to say hi to Auntie Mel. 

Jason

As far as my brother Jason is concerned, I can’t say as much.  I was always slightly jealous of the rest of my family, because I was the only one that never got to meet him.  But I did get a sense of Jason when Melanie talked about him.  Even though Melanie was only four years old when he died, she could describe the way they played so vividly. Melanie’s big brother was clearly one of her first loves, much the way Melanie was one of mine.  Despite everything, we can rest assured there is a special Klassen family reunion taking place at the table of Christ Jesus.

Mel’s In-Laws (We weren’t Melanie’s only family)

Just after Melanie was admitted to Riverview, she was visited by Terry.  She told him that in the few days after her admission she was discouraged that she was still alive.  She wanted to go to Heaven and she wasn’t sure why God was taking his time.  I don’t know Terry’s exact words, but he impressed upon Melanie that even in that hospital bed, too weak to walk, and struggling with pain, she had an impact.  She was still changing the world, and anyone that knows Mel would know that this would give her so much encouragement.  My wife and I were reflecting on this episode in Melanie’s admission after the smaller service we had on Wednesday.  Trisha had an amazing insight.  We feel that at least a small part of Mel’s purpose in the 3 weeks she spent at Riverview was to bond two families into one.  

Before July, Darryl’s family and our family were two groups, connected by marriage, acquainted and friendly.  Over the three weeks we spent in Riverview, we were forged into one family, by prayer and circumstance, fuelled by Mel’s love for us and our shared love for her.  

Our family is so thankful for Hilda and David, Darryl’s parents, Anita and Ramona, Darryl’s sisters, for Anita’s daughter, Kai, and also for Anita’s boyfriend, Marlon.  They have gone beyond the extra mile, no matter what needed to be done.  It is no mystery how Melanie came to love you all.

Melanie was our family’s hub.  She was the organizer, the planner.  The one that bought the Christmas gifts for mom and dad by October.  Any family decision was run by her.  When there was conflict or indecision, it was Mel who laid it all out on the table and made things clear for us.  

If you asked each of us separately who we could relate to most in this eclectic bunch, we would all probably say Mel.  I think it’s because we each saw the best of ourselves in her.  Not only that, she brought out the best in us.  She was challenging.  She would not let you settle, or become stagnant.  She saw what we could be and that’s what she expected.

In the last two years Melanie took on her most profound role in our family. We all watched in frustration as she caught a disease that she didn't deserve, a disease she had no risk factors for, a diseases she did everything she possibly could to avoid. And despite her tenacious, almost military like response to this cancer, we watched it take her away from us. I can't speak for everyone else, but I wanted to scream. I wanted to blame and turn bitter. But Melanie wouldn't let me. Get angry? Sure, for a little while. Get frustrated? Okay, maybe for a few minutes. Ask questions? Of course. As many as you like.  Worry? No. Mel would fight off the worry as hard as she fought the cancer. Through all her suffering, suffering that we know was deeper than she ever let on, there was never self pity and she never turned sour. What she gave us was encouragement and the persistent reminder that whatever happened…God had her. She was grace and faith personified. 

Jeff (it’s my tribute, so I’m allowed to save myself for last)

As for my relationship for Mel, there was one constant.  Whenever I thought of Mel, it was with pure and utter admiration.  When we were young, Melanie used to call me “Jaff.”  It must of been her strong mennonite heritage shining through.  She rarely got in trouble for anything, but I do remember numerous occasions when my mom got on her case for using me as a slave.  “Jaff, get me something to drink.”  “Jaff, clean up these toys.”  For me, though, it wasn’t slavery…it was devotion.  Melanie existed on another level, she always seemed to float somewhere above me, and I would do anything I could to be close to her.  

Melanie and I were 5 years apart, not an insignificant difference.  It meant we didn’t really “play” together the way a lot of children do.  I remember one time she allowed my Ninja Turtles to hang out with her Barbies.  I felt so much pressure to impress her with my maturity, I said a four letter word that I’m sure I didn’t know the meaning of.  Melanie’s jaw dropped, and I began to sob…not because I thought I would get in trouble, but because I had totally blown it!  My one chance to play with my super cool older sister and it was out the window!

Even in our teenage years, my sister had a powerful hold over me.  I could be infatuated with some girl…head over heels, ready to profess my undying love.  Mel would find out and say…”Really?  Her?  Hmm.”  And that would be the end of it.

Our age difference did have benefits.  I got to watch Melanie artfully navigate each stage of life.  Melanie became my template…my prototype for my teenage years, my marriage, and parenthood.  And what better example could I have had?

Unfortunately, Melanie and I weren’t always close.  Sometimes I admired her from far away.  In the last year Mel and I talked numerous times about a phase in our adult lives where we know we weren’t as close as we should have been.  And, in a mysterious way, we both felt a need to be closer in the year leading up to her diagnosis.  In the last two years, we shared some deep and life changing moments together.  A lot of them were painful, but a lot of them were wonderful and all of them are meaningful.

In Melanie’s last few months, she told me how much she admired me and thanked me for taking care of her.  To give an analogy of what this was like for me…imagine Wayne Gretzky praising you for your stick handling or Brian May thanking you for the guitar lesson.

Her Family

Melanie was struck by the words of her oncologist on the day he told her she was terminal.  He told her to start “building a legacy.”  We all know that those words were misspoke. Melanie’s legacy of love, faith, and unapologetic honesty was already well established.

But Melanie leaves behind a different legacy that continues to impact the world.  That legacy is in the way she loved and raised her family.  Her two amazing daughters bear an image of Melanie that goes way beyond physical resemblance.  In Kira, I see Melanie’s commitment to her friends, her thoughtful introspection, her insightfulness and her attention to detail.  I see Mel’s exuberance for life, her joy, her empathy, and her ability to brighten your day in Teagan.  Girls, you’ve been told this a thousand time already I’m sure, but it cannot be overstated…your mom loved you like crazy.   And then, there is the amazing man that Melanie chose to share her life with.  Darryl has been a part of our family for two thirds of my life.  I could not have chosen a better, more committed person to care for my sister in sickness and in health.  Melanie and Darryl’s marriage was a shining example of what a Christian union should be, and I am thankful for bearing witness to it.  Melanie’s imprint will always be on Darryl’s life, and I am so happy and proud to call him my brother, now and forever.

This last Christmas, Melanie made something for each person in our family as a special keepsake.  For me, she wrote a letter.  I’d like to read you the closing of that letter, and keep in mind, this was months after being told her cancer was incurable: 

“Finding God’s will is hard.  Depending on Him and waiting on Him is hard.  I have discovered a verse that has helped me understand God’s immediate will for my life:

1 Thes. 5:16-18 “Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances.  For this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

If you can learn to do these 3 things daily, you start to see God’s hand in all you do.  I pray for you daily.  I pray God will continue to use you and bless you.  I pray you rely on His strength.  I love you very much.  Merry Christmas.  Love Mel.”

Melanie, your love and faith have made me a better person.  I have a feeling, thanks to your writing and your family, you will continue to change me and challenge me for years to come.  I love you more than you ever knew.   Your suffering has ended, Hallelujah, and amen.

Friends' Tribute to Melanie

Friends' Tribute to Melanie as read by her friends Sandra Nickel and Karen Schroeder at Melanie's Celebration of Life Service, August 28th, 2015

Sandra: My name is Sandra and Karen and I are privileged to stand up here and share some thoughts about our dear friend Mel with you.  My friendship with Mel started in our teens where we met at Turtle Mountain Bible Camp counseling together.  We became fast friends and our friendship has continued to grow over the years.  When Darryl and Mel got married and moved into the same apartment building as my husband and I, we knew our friendship would last, cause not many could handle “that” smell and the very fashionable flooring décor.

Karen:  My name is Karen and there’s a bit of a debate on when Mel and I first met. Mel thinks it was at my parent’s farm during a church function after her and Darryl had started attending.  But I think it might have first been in our last year of university at U of M when we were in the same class pursuing our education degree.  Either way, we met a long time ago and Mel and Darryl quickly became important parts of our lives.  We know that we represent a much larger circle of friends that were dear to her heart and were impacted by Mel in profound ways.

Sandra:  Mel had such a special way of drawing people in and building meaningful relationships.  She got energy from people.  She loved travelling with friends, going on girls weekends away and women’s retreats and playing bunco with her Whyte Ridge ladies.  Late nights have been spent around the fire pit in their back yard and cooler evenings in the hot tub catching up on life.  Darryl and Mel loved to have fun with friends and would often be joined on camping trips, water skiing and snowmobiling excursions, sports teams, or any reason to get together to share some laughs and good conversation.

Karen:  Many evenings have been spent around their kitchen table, where it was often observed that Mel usually won the game, unless she let Darryl win.  She didn’t have to cheat to get the upper hand.  Mel and Darryl have opened up their home generously to so many of us making time for people –old friends and new.  Mel looked for ways to get to know people. She put people before projects and her relationships were her priority.  This is evidenced by all of you here today.  Mel’s spiritual walk was also shaped in community. Over a decade has been spent together in small group learning, sharing, praying and caring for each other and just doing life together.  We will treasure our many years where we were able to grow up in Jesus together.

Sandra:  I have had the honor of calling Mel my friend; to have known her like a sister and the privilege of being a part of her life.  We have shared a special bond as dear friends.  We have done life together.  Mel and I have helped celebrated life’s joys and sat beside each other through the storms life throws.  We have shared secrets, surprises and laughter.  We leaned on each other for support when we could not stand on our own.  When she first went back to work after Kira was born, I had the opportunity to take of care of Kira.  When I went back to school to get my degree, she was the one who understood what it took and even became my editor, reading a couple of my papers.  From the start of our friendship we made a conscious effort to connect to chat or get together regularly.  We have loved, cherished, enjoyed, shared and prayed, debated theology, listened and advised each other and told one another the painful truth when we needed to.  We had a relationship so special to me that is hard to put into words.  Our children have described the time with Aunty Mel and Uncle Darryl as a blast.  In their words – “Aunty Mel has shown them what it means to be a child of God and has demonstrated how to give your life fully for Him no matter what the circumstances.”  When cancer became a part of Mel’s journey, Mondays were the hardest for her, so in order to help ease those days; we would share Monday’s together.  At the start, it was chemo/radiation those days, not exactly fun for her.   After those Mondays were over, it was about getting strong both physically and mentally, which meant physio appts and long walks; I always had a hard time keeping up with her and her long legs!  It was a time of sharing deeply the things she was learning during this journey and figuring out what God desires for us, it was a time of crying, laughter and praying.  I just loved the comfort of being together and not feeling the pressure to say anything.  My days felt full and satisfying when they included time with Mel.  I loved bringing her flowers and Starbuck treats – in fact towards the end; it was the Starbuck refresher drink that brought a sparkle to her eye, not seeing me. J During our last conversation she said “sorry to cut this short”.  I know that it was in reference to something else, but looking back at it now, I too am sad that our doing life together was cut short.  To paraphrase Isadora James - She was a gift for my heart, a friend to my spirit, and a golden thread to the meaning of my life. 

Karen:  Now, I have to say, there were some things that drove me a little crazy about Mel. First of all, she was good at everything she picked up, she made any sport look easy and then she could sit in the sun for 5 minutes and have a golden tan for the rest of the year!  Really, who else is able to do all that!?!  Mel’s loyal friendship is one that I will treasure forever.  Mel has been there in my highs and lows of life. She stepped up, in such a huge, sacrificial way to care for my oldest  when my heart broke to go back to work after several years off.  Mel went to such lengths to keep me in touch with his day, complete with a journal of what he all ate and did, and even took pictures of him (for blackmail I’m sure) of his short hairdressing career with Teagan and Kira as his clients and of him playing in the sprinkler wearing Kira’s girly, pink bathing suit bottoms.  She modeled for me what it looked like to balance family life and a teaching career and to thrive while doing it, cheering me on.  Mel showed love in practical ways, coming over to help during bath and bed times when our hands and lives were full after our twins were born, with 2 babies and 2 other little ones running around.  Over the past few years I’ve been privileged to have Thursdays off and it was a standing date that Mel and I would spend part of the day together.  We usually loved going on long walks and sometimes we thrift store shopped for bargains, a new skill I have developed, learning from the best! J  I was so excited when Mel FINALLY grew up and started drinking coffee in more recent years, as I could now “pick up a coffee with her” on our excursions.  After Mel became sick, our times together looked a little different and we would go to her radiation, physio and dr appointments or run errands and complete jobs in the house that needed to be done. I always left these times together feeling so blessed, encouraged and challenged as we shared our hearts. It is rare when you are truly known by someone.  We have cared for each other, praying for our dreams, marriages, children and the things we hold dear.  Mel was real and in being real together, she challenged me to grow deeper in my faith and in my relationships. There have been many times this past week that I wished I could just ask Mel about something.  Her life as a teacher far out-stretched her classroom walls.

Sandra:  Now it may sound like Mel was perfect – but she also was flawed and no one knew that better then her.  It was in these flaws she saw the need for Jesus in her life.  Three or four years back, I remember seeing a change in Mel. She had such a deep, personal desire to serve the Lord and to really know Him. She knew then already that God was calling her and Darryl to something new, and although she didn't know what it was, she knew it was important and that it was going to be big.   No one could have predicated it would be this journey, not even her.  Even though it was hard and the suffering and pain was not easy - she continued to seek out God’s will for her life.  She lived intentionally in all of this and shared her journey with many, being open, honest and vulnerable through her blog and speaking engagements.  She was faithful and obedient to God, even when the journey was so hard.

Karen:  Mel not only taught us how to live well, but she also showed us how to die well.  A year ago when Mel was told by her oncologist that the cancer had spread and was now terminal, she was advised to go home and build a legacy.  Mel struggled with that, “how do you go home and build a legacy?”  How do you live your life while preparing to die?” Well, Mel showed us how to do exactly that.  She showed us how to embrace today, for that is what we are given, and to hand over our tomorrow, to our Creator, who holds it.  She showed us how to love people and place them as priority and to live intentionally, loving and serving.  Over the last 2 years, we've had many conversations about life and death.  Fears and future concerns, asking hard questions of God and praying for the tomorrows.  What a privilege it has been for us to be on this faith journey together.  

Sandra:  It was just over a year ago when the song “Glorious Unfolding” became very special to Mel, Darryl and the girls.  It was just after her surgery couldn’t take place last year and the future was dark and fearful. The song became a beacon of hope for Mel that God wasn’t finished with them, that their story was just beginning and that good would still come.  We know we still have hope in Jesus and that the story will not end here on earth.  Her new chapter has just begun.

Karen:  Darryl: we know Mel is the love of your life and you were hers.  We can say with experience and honesty her face lit up when she talked about you - except maybe when you were STILL out golfing. J  Know that you loved Mel well and served her tenderly.  You truly were a team in your marriage.  As her friends, we are so very grateful for that and couldn’t ask for anyone to have done that better. 

Sandra:  Kira and Teagan:  through all of this, her fight was for you.  Her love for you will never end.  We see so much of your mom in you and know that you will continue her legacy of loving people and walking with Jesus.

Karen:  To Mel’s friends whom we represent here today:  know that she treasured you, loved you and prayed for you daily.  She would want you to carry on, but more importantly she would want you to extend and share yourself with those around you, just like she did for you. She would want you to live well and with purpose just as she did, seeking Jesus and investing in the eternal. She could only have traveled this road because you were there, walking this journey with her together.  

Sandra:  Melanie to us, your friends, you are:

His Light

Godly and Wise

Bold

Encouraging and Kind

Faithful

Generous and Present

His Servant

Loyal and Dependable

A Blessing

Strong and Courageous

A True Friend

Beautiful and Devoted

His Beloved who He Delights in

Karen:  Mel, our Sister in Christ, we are so thankful that this is not goodbye and not the end. We know where you are and Who holds you now.  Mel, you have fought the good fight, finished the race and kept the faith.  Well done, good and faithful servant.

Sandra:  Mel, you are His beloved, in whom He delights.  You are in His glorious unfolding. 

(Original Painting called "First to Arrive" by Rosalie Olsen, Melanie's friend)

Melanie is Free!!

MELANIE PENNER (nee KLASSEN) - March 23, 1976 - August 21, 2015

Our hearts are broken to announce the passing of our beloved Melanie Penner; wonderful wife, loving mother, treasured daughter and sister, and loyal friend.  Melanie was an amazing teacher, a gifted writer, and a fervent servant of Jesus Christ.  Melanie was fierce, bold, unwaveringly honest, innovative, and gracious.  Melanie exuded love and faithfulness, and the way she lived her life had an impact on everyone around her.

Melanie is lovingly remembered by her husband, Darryl, her two beautiful daughters, Kira and Teagan, her parents, Dennis and Marion Klassen, her brother, Jeffrey (Trisha), her devoted in-laws, one niece, and one nephew.  She has joined her brother Jason in Heaven.

Melanie's family would like to thank the palliative staff at Riverview Health Centre for their gentle and compassionate care.

An informal gathering for family and closer friends will be held at Whyte Ridge Baptist Church, 201 Scurfield Boulevard on Wednesday, August 26th at 7pm.  A Celebration of Life Service will be held at Grant Memorial Baptist Church, 877 Wilkes Avenue on Friday, August 28th at 7pm.  All are welcome to attend the Friday service. (Friends Funeral Service 204-339-5555)

Donations can be made in her name to Winkler Bible Camp to help underprivileged children attend summer camp.  A trust has also been opened in her daughters’ names, Kira and Teagan Penner, at Steinbach Credit Union, McGillvray branch.

“For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” Philippians 1:21 NIV

A more detailed obituary and eulogy will be added in the days to come. 

A Painting of Hope

Life has been busy over the past few weeks.  We had some special friends come and visit from Toronto.  It was so great to get caught up and enjoy each other's company.  We've also been celebrating birthdays.  Our youngest daughter and Darryl's birthdays are just 2 days apart (July 18 & 20), so we celebrated them last weekend.  My family and Darryl's family came over to help us celebrate.  It was nice to have family around.  I floated in and out of the celebrations.  I struggled with a lot of hip pain all weekend, so amongst the celebrating was lots of drugs and sleep to help cope.

This past week, I left my house for the first time since coming home from the hospital.  I went to a friend's house just 3 minutes from home.  A group of friends got together to talk, laugh and eat.  It was nice to take a little break from my usual surroundings.  This group of friends gave me an amazing gift that night.....it was a beautiful painting of pink flowers (my favourite).  It was created by a local artist who I have grown to love and admire.  At the top of the painting were the words "Melanie You Are..."  then each friend at this get together gave a word or phrase to describe me.  It is beautiful on so many levels....it's beautiful to look at, it's beautiful to read and warms my heart, and it's beautiful for my soul to know I have friends that care so deeply for me.  Darryl hung the painting next to my hospital bed, so it's the first thing I see when I wake up.  When the pain won't ease, when the drugs are clouding my mind, or when I'm too tired to get out of bed this painting has become a reminder of hope for me.  Thank you to those who contributed.  I feel very lucky to have friends who are willing to share their feelings about me.  We so seldom offer these insights to each other, even though it's so encouraging.  My challenge to you today is to tell someone who you love what they mean to you and why you value them.....it has the power to change them and you.

Living in a Daze

The last few weeks have been surreal to me on so many levels.   I've been put on some very heavy medications to control the pain in my back and legs.  As a result, I feel like I walk around in a daze all the time.  Somedays it's unclear what I'm dreaming and what is real.  This is a frustrating place to be.  I want to invest in the people around me, but it's hard to engage when I feel so out of it.  My home has been transformed into a health care facility, which has all happened so quickly it feels like I'm on the outside watching someone else's life being transformed.  I sleep in a hospital bed now, which is much more comfortable for my back.  But it's hard for Darryl and I to accept the fact that we need to sleep in our own beds.  We've pushed my bed right next to his, so it feels like one huge king bed, but deep down I miss my bed and sleeping next to my man.  Today a wheelchair was delivered to the house, so I can consider taking the odd outing if I have the energy for it.  I use a walker to get around the house and am managing quite well.  I've managed to keep up a fairly good appetite thanks to the meal train!  I sleep a lot and often have trouble staying a wake when I'm watching TV or reading.  I feel like I'm in a constant battle to stay present and keep my head in what's going on around me.  I have a new medical team looking after me.  My doctors and nurses come to the house to look after me, which is so helpful.  I have appreciated them so much already.  They are currently helping me figure out how to continue to manage my pain but possibly clear my head a bit.  I'm in the process of switching from one pain medication to another, so I'm double drugged right now.  I am extremely thankful for pain control which makes everything more doable.  I catch myself watching Darryl and the girls and analyzing them......are they ready to live without me?  Of course the answer is "no", but it's also hard for them to have to watch me suffer.  It's a constant battle between wishing we weren't living this life and wanting to make the best of it.  We struggle with how to pray.....of course we want a miracle - to be completely healed and healthy.  But if God continues to say "no" to complete healing then what do we ask for?  Strength to get through this life?  Stamina to work through this hard valley?  I dream about heaven....a perfect life, a perfect body, in Jesus' presence.  Heaven will be great, but I will wait for when my time is right.  For now we will press forward relying on Him with every step we take.