We have had a great few weeks. We've enjoyed our friend's pool. I've gone for lots of walks and visited with friends in the backyard. I've even gone for a weekend of camping and a weekend at our friends' cabin. I'm feeling really well. My incision has healed almost completely. My pain is almost all gone. I have my 6 week post-op check up this week. I dread it. My doctors are great, but they treat me like my life is ending; which is really hard mentally. It is a mental game every single day for me. I wake up every morning and think, "I have terminal cancer, how can this be?" Then I spend the next half hour or so, psyching myself up to face my day. I start with prayer to help me remember that God is always with me and His presence surrounds me at all times. I spend some time reading my Bible and focusing on promises written in it. Then I do lots of self talk, "I'm feeling great." "I have today as a gift, so I need to make the most of it." When I put my feet on the floor, I feel like the hardest part of my day is behind me and I'm ready to face the day. The more I can do, the more I do, the more people I see, the more normal I feel. And the more other people see me as me, the same Melanie I've always been, maybe even a bit better.....more relaxed, more patient, more in tune with details, less concerned about the small stuff, the more normal people are treating me. The fact that I feel better and better everyday is such an amazing gift to me and my family. The better I feel, the easier it is to face each day and not feel like I have bad news lurking around each corner.
Last post, I told you about the summer list we made. Well it has not been looked at for the past 2 weeks. Why? Because we fulfilled the one thing on the list that really mattered to our girls: we got a puppy. His name is Jett, and he has been a huge blessing to all of us. He so cuddly and fun. He's also a lot of work, so we've been busy training. As a result, for the past 13 days my girls have not thought about cancer. They've been consumed with feeding, walking, and bathroom schedules. I think it's also been good for all of us to be taking care of something, instead of being taken care of by others. Darryl deserves a medal for best dad of the year. He is NOT a dog person. He did not want a dog at all. But he gave in and gave his girls the gift of joy. And he has not left it at that; he helps take care of Jett all the time. He walks him, cleans up poop, feeds him and gets up early on the weekends so the girls can sleep in. It is the most sacrificial gift Darryl has ever given, and he hasn't complained too much. I think he's even starting to like Jett. I'm looking forward to having a companion when the girls go back to school, which will be incredibly hard for me. I have to brag a little about my new puppy. He's so cute! He's a yorkie bichon. He loves to cuddle. Loves to go for walks. He's pretty laid back most of the time, but definitely likes to play. He's sleeping through the night, and is doing pretty good with accidents in the house (there's been a few, but all in a two day stretch). I love to watch my girls with him. They love him so much, and he is comforting to them. He loves them unconditionally. It's what they have needed after all they have had to live through this year.
So in general, life is pretty good for us. We're enjoying our summer. Thank you for all the warm wishes and encouragment!