Waiting is the hardest part for me. I was told last week that I would for sure have an MRI this week. I need an MRI to determine what stage of cancer I have, if it's spread and how large it is. All of this info will determine what kind of treatment I need. In 5 days I meet my oncologist, at this appointment I will find out my treatment plan. But I still don't even have an apt. for my MRI. Today I was told that I've been put on the urgent list and as soon as there is a cancellation or they get ahead in their schedule, they will call me. I need to be ready to go all the time. My phone is always with me with the volume turned up! The funny part is, Darryl does have an MRI tomorrow morning. We've been joking that maybe we can go for a couples MRI!!! But so far my phone is silent. Darryl will be having his MRI in the operating room where his surgery will take place. He was very fortunate to be assigned to one of the new MRI operating suites at HSC for his surgery. The surgeons will be able to look at an MRI throughout his surgery to monitor progress. I've talked so much about my issues in my posts, but tomorrow's MRI is a reminder of what waits around the corner for Darryl: he will have an incision on the top of his head (straight up from his ear). They will peel his skin forward. They will drill into his skull where his eyebrow is and remove the tumour. His tumour is about 2/3 the size if his eyeball. It is sitting on his optic nerve and forcing it to make a c-shape instead of a straight line. He is guaranteed to have double vision after the surgery, but hopefully it will not last. Right now Darryl has had no vision impairment, so returning to perfect vision would be a huge blessing. So we say my surgery is urgent, and we hope it happens soon so the cancer doesn't get a chance to spread. Darryl's surgery is delicate, complicated and scary. For me we still have a lot of unknowns. For him we know what to expect but fear the risks. So these are the things we think about everyday. These are the concerns that we go to bed wondering about.
Just today I received an e-mail from someone going through similar medical issues. She shared these verses to encourage me: "the Lord says I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who trust in my name. When they call on me, I will answer; I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honour them. I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation" Psalm 91:14-16. So tonight I will go to bed thinking about this instead of upcoming surgeries and hope that I get a restful, peaceful sleep.